I went to Barcelona

and all you got was this dumb fantastic blog post.

Sorry for the silence kids, it's been a hectic weekend. And by hectic I mean trying to sample as much of Barcelona's gastronomy as I physically could.

I consider my mission mostly successfully accomplished.

If you don't want to read this whole blog post here's what you need to know:

High points were the Mercat de La Boqueria, eating a salted macaron from the famous La Colmena and the best seabass of my life at El Pintor.

Marzipan cherries at La Mercat

Low points were that every tapas place we went was super touristy and all the tapas were just deep fried something-or-others without much depth or history.

I also tried the famous Padron peppers that I had read and so much about, as well as both Estrella Damm and Damm Lemon beers which are from Spain. Unfortunately I only really liked the Damm Lemon because it reminded me of a shandy (beer and lemonade). The Estrella Damm was too bitter for me, and I don't even really like beer in the first place so this is sort of wasted on me. The padron peppers were also not my favorite, just because I don't really like peppers that much. But I'm glad I tried both because they're pillars of Spanish cuisine. Also because my fantastic editor from my days at the Post-Gazette told me to and he knows more about the world of food than I could ever to understand.

Noms on noms on noms

And now for an in-depth look at my whirlwind 36 hour trip to Barcelona.

So I spent 20 Euros on a gastronomy walking tour that resulted in me sweating profusely and being very grumpy because we stopped at about 9000 delicious looking chocolate stores and I DIDN'T GET TO BUY A SINGLE THING.

What is the damn point of a walking tour about food if there's no time for you to sample said food on said walking tour? Answer: there isn't one.

OH MY HOLY FUCKING CHOCOLATE HEDGEHOG

So the Mercat de la Boqueria is an outdoor mercado, much larger than the one in Alicante and with the added bonus of selling delicious looking fruit drinks and Catalan chocolate. At least 15 stalls were just gorgeous chocolates, candies and truffles and I am so glad I didn't bring my wallet to the Mercado because it would've ended badly.

Tomato heaven.

Barcelona is known for its Granjas, which are basically cafes that specialize in cakes and cheeses and also sell typical Catalan foods, like creme caramels, pastries and of course, coffee. We saw one of the oldest granjas, founded in 1870 and it was literally like stepping back in time: they kept most of the decorations from throughout the years. We didn't get to go inside but looking through the windows was like walking back through 50s-era advertising. Plus there was a really cute weimaraner sitting inside and I wanted to cuddle with it.


The chocolate shops were plentiful, and most of the ones we saw were established in the 1800s and early 1900s and are still family owned. The oldest we saw, Xocolateria Fargas opened in 1827 and still has a lot off the original cabinetry and stained glass on display, and they still sell mostly chocolates which I did not get to sample and I am still upset.

About the macaron: perfectly salty and from La Colmena, founded 150 years ago and about the size of my bedroom in Alicante. So worth the 90 cents. Tommy was pissed I didn't even offer him a bite but I'm sorry, macarons are too small to be properly shared and too good to want to share anyway.

Wait I'm not sorry.

The finest seabass of my life was procured at a beautiful restaurant called El Pintor where we nearly didn't eat because our reservation magically got cancelled. This could be my own fault as I was the one who called to make the reservation in the first place but still...I mean, shit. That would've sucked.

Anyway, despite the name and the location, El Pintor is a French restaurant which means that all of the dishes were soaked in butter. And my stomach said, "LOL AND NONE FOR GRETCHEN WEINERS" so I ordered fish instead of the braised lamb shank.

The real way to taste the rainbow.

But it was totally the best seabass I've ever had; buttery all on its own, perfectly tender and flaky and when paired with the fresh tartar sauce a true tour de force in the world of seafood. Let me say this now that homemade tartar sauce is unbelievably good and I will definitely be making it when I go home because it involves things I don't feel like buying in Spain. Like capers, which only come in 10-pound jars here.

My only complaint is that the vegetables I got with the fish were seriously overcooked and a little greasy. But I sort of ignored them anyway so it wasn't that big of a deal.

Mercat sausages

So there you have it, my weekend of gluttony in Barcelona. We also saw Gaudi's Park Guell and La Sagrada Familia church which were trippy and cool too. Gaudi must have done a lot of acid. I intend to model this year's gingerbread house on his designs which will almost certainly be a failure covered in frosting.

Also stay tuned because tonight will likely be a double feature WHICH WE ALL JUST FREAKIN' LOVE!